Cirque
Chapter Eight

Ok. Okay. The truth is I’ve always had a little problem with the truth. But I am not a liar. Everything I’ve said so far is someone’s truth. I can even argue that with any great magician, there has to be a level of deception involved, if that’ll make it easier, but I suspect, at this point, it’s my truth you’re after. So that’s what I’ll give you before I go…



It’s just that other people’s lives are always immensely more fascinating than my own. I wanted a new story this time but the new life I chose turned out to be the very one I was running from. That’s what life is. Repetition. Somehow, along the way, you’ve failed. So it’s simply it giving you a second chance to do it right. And you must do it right, or you’ll be ba…



I think about Callie. She could’ve easily have been bitchy or moody and nobody would’ve dared question her because of everything she had been through. But instead, she chose to be this humble and kind soul up to her last day. Which made her so fucking brilliant. I admired her to pieces. I emulated her for years after that…



I’m pregnant. And that part about me never being able to have kids for fear I would die and leave them with their father was my truth. So it must be done…



I vowed that when Dad and I moved to Newbury Hill I would never be the girl I was before. A Bianca. This time I was gonna be a Callie. But one thing that I could not change was the fact that misery does indeed love company and I found them too. There was a brokenness in each of them I called home. That was my truth too. We were all a series of unfortunate reincarnations. Callie was one. I was one. Maurice… Mikey… all…of…us. So I tried to be a little light to each of th…



If Callie were around now she would’ve known who I was all along. She would’ve talked me out of doing what I am about to do. But instead I am all alone…



I think about Sonny and those five days. But I think I’ll carry that one to the grave…



Bloom



I think of her often, alone that night, and wonder if right after she passed she looked down at her body and regretted what she’d done. It’s the saddest thought in the world to me. Everything in this world can be fixed while you’re alive. But to look down at your body and know that what you’d done you can never take back…that’s why I am still alive now…



And so that’s the last unanswered question left…



Bianca was different though. You’ll see. And I am not just talking about high school bullying or being socially awkward. Ten years from now, when you look them up, you’ll see the tragedy that has befallen each of them and if Bianca listens to the words I’ve said, you will see the one of us that has thrived. She was never like us. There is a difference between being painted in tragedy and painting tragedy, although they both feel the same from the inside. So I simply told her to start painting herself somewhere new.



Well, the answer to that lies in the story I told Ms. Keisha. Although similar events took place very eerily in the present, it was set in the future. With a young girl and the grandfather who was raising her when her mother, his daughter, died unexpectedly. See the thing about unfortunate reincarnations… is the very same thing one says about history--it always has a way of repeating itself. But not because life is just this inevitably, unending cycle of doom and gloom. It’s… because people… give up on it… before… it has… a chance… to get to…

 

(silence)




This work is created by, written by and belongs to Aecko and shared here for entertainment.